I have just enough self esteem left to share this story with y’all. Then after this I am done, no one look me in the eye I am just too embarrassed! The thing that I love the most about 3 year olds is their honesty. They don’t lie or beat around the bush, if they have something to say, they say it.
The following is a true story, it happened to me yesterday morning…
Because I am a Mother and have no privacy, as I was getting out of the shower my favorite 3 year old walked into my bathroom. I was drying myself off with a towel when I noticed her staring at me with a questionable look.
“What’s going on Storie?” I asked.
Staring straight at my breasts she says, “why are they so long?”
Speechless, I manage to mumble, “because I am a Mom.”
Without hesitation she replies, “you look like an elephant” and walks away.
So thats it.
I look like an elephant and I have long breasts. I wanted to scream down the hall at her… “yea well, hey there little girl, I just got done nursing for 11 years in a row, sometimes two children at a time and a few of you ungrateful children till you were two!”
But I didn’t think she would care. The damage is done, I have no self esteem left!
Part comedian, part Dad, part athlete. He will boss around your children while they play ball.
Just as angelic as she looks, this girl could easily raise a Village by herself, and all the children would grow up to be President.
Self proclaimed, she would be a webkinz dog. Because, "they're cute, and puppies are too. And they're sweet and they always get along with other puppies."
This mini-Martha Stewart can handle ANY craft you send her way. She isn't all bows and rainbows, she's got karate kid moves!
Not "Pick-Me-Up" like caffeine, she wants you to pick her up! AND NOW!
Anything that can be destroyed WILL be destroyed!
Practically Perfect in Every Way for now! Nicknamed "The Panda" she is rolly polly and lives by the motto, "the little one, is KING!"
The resident Labradoodle, Miller got his name because Mom won and got to name the baby! Need something chewed up? He'll take care of it. Especially if it's expensive..
ROFL :-)…..Kids have such honesty “out of the mouths of babes”…and yes, I don’t have as many as you do, but can relate well 🙂 Have a Happy Mother’s Day !
I love this, too funny!!! Thanks for sharing:) As a mother of 5 I can totally relate, my older children constantly ask me why I am still nursing my 20 month old! I’m finished having children and want/need a lift badly!!! Have a great Mother’s Day!!
I feel your pain and I’m sorry. We should go have a drink to forget about the ramblings of our perfect children. 🙂
Haha, if it makes you feel better my son likes to poke my leftover baby belly and tell me he likes my “squishy”
*Sigh*
lol! yeaahhhhhhh…. been there 🙁
thank you for that!! that made my day!!
Haaaaaaaaaahahahah!! omgawd, this is hysterical!! I so feel your pain… although you beat me in the kids department, I have five and not seven (nominating you for sainthood btw) I so feel like motherhood took a toll on my body as well in terms of weight… I didn’t gain more than 10 pounds with each pregnancy, but put it all on after… ugh… and now it is killing me to get it off! If you find a good surgeon, pass on the info lol!!!!! I think I’ll be right behind ya 😉 And btw, an ELEPHANT? Where did she get that from??? lol! Kids say the darndest things!
That is so funny Tiffany!!!! I hope you are writing down everything your kids say. I’m sure you could write a book and put them all through college with the profit! 🙂 Happy Mother’s Day! We all know you love your kiddos!
You made me laugh sooo hard!!! An elephant…. now thats a first! I have only two kids but after breastfeeding each for 18 months i have lost the fight with gravity, lol.Incidentally, my seven year old daughter was asking me to have another child and i said no we cant afford it. She responded , ‘dont you have a coupon you can use at the hospital.’ I dont have one but i would really appreciate a coupon for the plastic surgeon!!!!Happy Mother’s Day.
Oh thats funny! I do need a coupon for plastic surgery! It should be a BOGO!
I love this! I was in the shower last night and figuring up how long I’ve been nursing….almost 7 years! Still nursing my 17 month old and expecting number 5 in Oct, so Im sure I have another two years……so I can really appreciate your story 🙂
My 27 year old son will say, “no one told me it was mother’s day.”
That is hilarious! You can always count on your kids for honesty! Thanks for making my day and letting me know I’m not alone.
Oh that is 2 cute!! Tiffany I had a lift and a reduction 5 years ago and if I had to do it all over again I would NOT do it!! 🙁 it was so painful and the scars are not cute and 5years later they aren’t as enournmous as they used to be but they sag just as bad sorry to be the burden of bad news but I wish someone I knew would have told me before I had it done. BTW I just met you last Saturday & I think your beautiful just the way you are not in a stalkerish way lol
Cute story.Thanks for sharing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MarNBaD6p9o
just watch this video! I went to her show yesterday and she was so funny! This should help cheer you up/give you some advice! 😉 LOL!
My kids ask me if I have a baby in my belly…and my youngest is 2. But I felt better when they asked my husband the same thing!!!
What silly things kids say! 🙂 I have two daughters that I nursed so I can only start to imagine the sacrifice your breasts have made for seven! Bless your HEART!!! Oh and by the way…. My daughter, who is nine now, asked me when she about 5 or 6, “Mommy, why is Freddy Krueger on your belly?” She knew about the scary guy from her older sister but to say that about my stretch marks was HILARIOUS!!! and a little self pitying on my part 😉
Your not alone hunny!!! LOL kids always know just the right thing to say! My friends son asked me if I had a baby in my belly in front of a group of our friends and i was NOT preggers!
Awww! I can relate!
Cute story! I’ve been nursing over 8 years. With 2 more to go with my last baby! So sad to hear about the problems with the lift and reduction . I was looking forward it. Happy Mothers Day !
OMG!!! Tiffany, you are one hilarious mom!!
I can relate, girl! I’ve been nursing six of my kiddos since 2000 myself (not all at once of-course), and my 1.5 year old continues to “snack”, I guess!
And I have been called many, many names including the infamous “Cow” on the “Laughing Cow Cheese” box!! :s
Let’s look on the bright side. I feel like our bodies are proof of abuse so when they are in denial, we just start “flashing” the proof!!
Have a wonderful Mommy’s day!!
This cracks me up! My oldest daughter asked me one day at age 4 “Mommy, when I grow up, will my boobies be as long as yours?” with just the sweetest most sincere little face. I bent down, looked that little darling right in the eye and said, “if you are blessed and have children, absolutely!”. Then she said “oh, ok” and went back to playing. LOL Having 5 children myself, I have learned to love the truth and laugh at myself alot. 🙂
This is so great. I am a nursing mother, myself, and I totally love this story (and all the comments after). My happy, nursing baby just turned 2 a few days ago! Thanks for sharing and for being able to laugh about such a normal part of life!