Mom Logic, What is that? It is no surprise that there is nothing logical about being a Mom. Everything related to motherhood is illogical. Logic means that there is some reason or sound judgement behind an action. Thus, telling me Motherhood is completely Illogical. 

I am actually thinking that motherhood might just be a disease, a highly contagious one at that. I’m going to call it illogical Mom Logic Syndrome or IMLS for short. It can affect any Women in love with a child, whether a biological or adoptive Mom, a favorite Aunt or even a new Grandmother. Symptoms usually include enlarged thighs and rear ends, drooping breasts, bags under the eyes. It has been known to cause completely irrational outbursts of emotion, such as crying during Kodak commercials. Or even forcing your children to watch Susan Boyle sing “I dreamed a dream” on youtube, bawling uncontrollably through each viewing.

Why do Mothers afflicted with IMLS cry? Because we have the ability to take a message out of the most illogical thing and apply it to us. This disease has taken over our ability to separate the non-Ivanovsky children things of this world, and the things that I can turn around and make be about the Ivanovsky children. For example, your little brother’s friends, uncle’s neighbor, had a leopard gecko that had a red scab that turned out to be reptile fungal disease. The rolodex of stored child ailments my kids have had is spinning in my brain. In my head I am thinking, “My Emma had a scab like that three years ago, it is gone now but maybe it could have been….”

We can’t think about things normally anymore once afflicted with IMLS syndrome. We are worried about lice, ring worm, ticks and other appropriate dinner time topics. Did the children get enough to eat for breakfast and how many bowel movements have they had this week? 

Along with IMLS syndrome Mothers are usually afflicted with some type of delusional self – image hallucinations. No matter how “hot” our spouse declares us, we torture ourselves with tankini’s and ill fitting capris. We go to tanning salons to try and camouflage the cottage cheese on our thighs by melting it off or confusing being tan with being skinny. 

But the most crippling part of IMLS is the inability to accept and realize that the antidote for this disease is with us all the time, usually wiping their little noses on our shoulder. It is our children in everything wonderful that they do all day that rescues us from everything ill-logical in this world and saves us when we have no hope left. 

That is my Mom Logic.

We have lived in our house for over 10 years and every year I announce that I want a garden. Then I don’t do anything about it and no one does it for me, so I have never had one. This is year is different. I made the announcement and got a slight reaction from my husband, I took the little eye blink as a definite, “Honey, I would love to help you put in a garden!”

~This is a picture of my husband tilling the spot for my garden at 10:20pm.

~This is after I had already cut the buried cable line, about 15 min. earlier. Who knew it was there?

~This is only 6 hours before we have to be at the mushroom farm to pick up REALLY cheap compost. They open at 4am and you have to be there at 4:30am to get any, 95 miles from our house…

Now, the pictures that are missing are the ones you really want to see. But unlike me I DIDN”T BRING MY CAMERA, I am still kicking myself!

My sweet husband calls me at 7:30am on his way back from the mushroom farm. “Honey, I think the trailer is way to heavy, I told them only 2 yards and they dumped the entire bucket full (5yards) into the trailer. It’s not my fault he didn’t speak english.”

“OH, MY GOSH, I’ll have to call you back I just blew a tire!”

The next 9 hours went something like this… call and borrow another trailer and industrial jack, drive up to find husband on the side of highway 70 miles north of here, spend 7 hours on a SUNDAY trying to find a new wheel for a 68 chevy, and laughing until our sides hurt at the stupidity of it all.

Thankfully we were accompanied by our good friends the DuBois’ who pawned their kids off and joined us on this adventure.

We had to transfer half the compost, which I forgot to mention smells worse than manure, to the other trailer and we dumped about 2 yards on the side of the highway to lighten it. All of this on the side of a MAJOR highway. So if you are interested in some compost, north of Huntsville, TX on the side of the road there is about 2 yards of good mushroom compost for the taking. But I will warn you, it is HEAVY.

~This is us at 6:30pm that night finally getting home. This is Shawn D. riding the trailer into the backyard!
~This is our slave labor unloading one of the trailers. They enjoyed the smell as much as we did!
~ This is right after the DuBois’ Grandma drove off our driveway and into the ditch in front of our house. That was another little 45min. adventure trying to get the car out… It was quite the day.
~ This is the picture I am going to put on craigslist advertising my brother in laws babysitting service…

So the garden is coming along. I will post a picture of the completed space another day, it is raining today, so you can see how beautiful it turned out! Thanks to all the family and friends who helped us, I would have left Paul in the middle of nowhere smelling like rotting mushrooms on a Sunday…