Twelve years ago tonight I was starting my 21 st hour of hard labor. At 5 am in the morning I had woken up to what I thought was a dream that I had peed in the bed. I kept apologizing to my husband and tried to get to the bathroom, but I just kept peeing everywhere! Now 6 kids later I would have known right away that my water had broke, but I was unexperienced and young. It finally occurred to me almost 45 minutes later that maybe my water had broke, and by this time the contractions were coming hard and fast.

I waited as long as I could before I wobbled out to the car and to the hospital. I labored in the tub and listened to Cat Stevens, I walked the halls during the afternoon, I laid on my side and talked to myself. Every now and then my midwife would poke her head in and check on me, she had already been up at the hospital for 2 days and was trying to get a little sleep in another room.

At 12:40 am after much pushing my sweet, sweet baby was born. It was nice and quiet, just Paul, my Mom, the midwife, a cranky old nurse and my little sister peeking from the doorway to welcome Tucker. I was so tired and almost in a little shock that when they immediately laid him on my chest I was scared that I wouldn’t love him.

I have never been so wrong.

Tucker has been something so special from the beginning. Even as my first baby I could recognize it. He has such a special spirit about him, he instinctively has that thing inside him that tells him when reverence is needed. He has always been cautious, no matter how we tried to teach him otherwise he is naturally a careful person.

Thats him in the back, the little 3 year old who’s head you can barley see, I sent him down the Snake River with his Aunts and Uncle, he has never forgiven me.

Tucker is smart, and I am not just saying this because I am his Mother, I have other children that I would not say this about… the boy is brilliant. I have not been able to help him with homework for years now, he almost has a photographic memory. In second grade he read the entire Lord of The Rings series, by himself, in 3 months. He didn’t get credit for it at school though, because it wasn’t on the list for elementary school students. Tucker has always been able to understand concepts that were complicated for even adults.
I love this boy so much, he is turning into a wonderful man. I am so proud of him and love him for the wonderful spirit that he brings into our home. I have such special feeling for him because he was my first and I had so much time with just him. I feel like we grew up together. I had him when we were in college, it was a really long winter that year. Paul would leave for school at 8am and get home from work at 11pm. I sat with Tucker all day in our little cinder block wall, 600 square foot apartment, just the two of us, all that lonely cold winter, and the next winter as well. I just talked to him all day.