There is NO ONE online tonight!
I looked, a few times. Apparently everyone but me has a hot date or at least something else to do besides sit on the computer.
I cruised by my favorite blogs and about shot ice water through my nose when I read my sisters (the Kitchen Aid Killer) account of what it was like watching my kids this past weekend.
This past weekend Paul and I went to a conference and had my sister fly in to watch the kids.
This is her account of how it went….. It is titled “At Least They Are Alive.”
By Anna.
When Jeff and I first got married we both thought we wanted six kids. I know. Sounds like a lot. But we both came from a family of six and we loved the constant party. Then Jeff spent a weekend babysitting my sister’s kids when they only had six. After that, he said let’s just have the dog and squirrels.
Obviously he’s warmed up a little since then. Anyway, my sister and her husband had to leave for a few days for work. They flew the baby and I in to make sure the house didn’t burn down. We were barely successful. It was a pretty busy trip and most of the pictures I took came from my cell phone.
I also took this photo to send to my nephew, he was wondering where I was and when I was going to be there because he needed a ride to Scouts.
It was super fun to be at my sisters again. I forget what a daily party life is with seven kids. There is never a dull moment. My baby was in hog heaven with all the kids carrying him around, although he didn’t sleep well at all that first night. He kept waking up in the pack and play and screaming bloody murder. He has never slept with us, so I thought maybe I’d give it a shot and he’d be happier if he was right next to me. Um. No. It was awful. He couldn’t get comfortable. He slept on my neck, stomach, chest, arm, and leg until I finally moved. Then it was time to get up, anyway and I’d only had about three hours of sleep. Ugh. But, I woke up and enjoyed riding bikes with one of the kids to school. It was soooo beautiful out!
Later that day Tiffany sent me to get my hair done. I think she was embarrassed to be seen with someone who had such bad roots. Then the hair dresser cut my hair and told me in her little accented voice that my dead ends were “unnecessary” so she was going to cut them all off. “Theez, theeez are unnecessary. I cut dem off.” I love it though. Went with the full bang this time instead of side ones. I think I like it.
From there it wasn’t too bad. I picked up the three littlest ones from preschool. We played for an hour and then went to pick up the three from elementary school. I met a friend at the park, when we got there I counted kids, and between the two of us we had eight. Seven of which “belonged” to me. My baby met up with a friend he knew from way back when and she showed him how fun it was to eat mulch.
She lost a tooth! And a fish. But we won’t talk about that.
Miller lost a lot of blood. I don’t know how, because this happened during the time when the microwave caught fire. I heard when it happened though, because I locked half the kids outside and said they couldn’t come in until they picked up the driveway. Three minutes later they were screaming that Miller was bleeding everywhere. I thought it was a joke, but no.. he really was trying to bleed to death on the driveway. That picture doesn’t even do it justice. That was me holding him still for two seconds to take a picture and that’s how much he bled.
Thankfully, he eventually quit bleeding, I asked the oldest kid hose the driveway off, he yelled at a younger kid til she did it for him and we ate dinner. With all the windows open so we could try to breath through the smoke from the microwave incident. Then I left the little kids with the oldest kid so I could drop a couple other kids off at softball. When I came home the bigger baby had a pen and had drawn on herself and their brand new sofa. I couldn’t get the pen to come off. Awesome. Microwave-broken. Dog-bleeding. Sofa-ruined.
Morning rolled around and it wasn’t as rough as I thought it would be trying to get all seven kids to school. The oldest took care of himself, and the next five just needed a little help before they caught rides. Then I was just left with four little ones. They played so dang well together I almost didn’t want to take them to preschool. Until one started crying and they all followed. I dropped them off at school a few minutes later.
Feeding nine people isn’t as easy as it looks. For dinner I asked the kids what they wanted. Most of them said pancakes. We ended up with German pancakes. Three batches. And two pots of Cream of Wheat and a small batch of the best scrambled eggs I have ever made. All of this took three hours and one trip to the store. I asked if they could find brown sugar and syrup, and of course, they couldn’t. So we went and bought some only to have another kid say, “Oh, wait, here it is!”
Saturday morning rolled around and was a balmy 37 degrees with a lovely wind. I took the four older girls to softball for three hours – I am so glad I left all the babies at home with a babysitter! It was miserably cold and all I wanted to do was hide in the truck. In between we went to HEB and caught the tail end of what they’re hoping is the largest flash mob ever. Seventy six thousand employees singing at the same time at every HEB.
Then we went home and picked up the little guy for baseball. I am not sure he had a clue what was going on, neither did any of the other kids, but they sure were cute. I could’ve just died watching them. My little baseball star and some other kid kept calling each other “eye balls” and laughing. I had to separate them.
That night for dinner we decided to ride our bikes to McDonald’s. Miller dog decided he was going to come with us. Then he changed his mind and ran home. Then he changed his mind and ran back. Then he changed his mind and tried to get hit by a car three separate times while I tried to catch him. Then I gave up and yelled at a kid.
Church on Sunday started at 8:30am. We got there at 9:30. I was tired. The fourteen year old was tired, too. But not too tired to scream “Hallooooo” out the window at every passing car.
Also…. this is him as he tried to take his hoody off. You can’t tell, but instead of unzipping it like a normal person he tried to pull it over his head. He pulled off both shirts he was wearing and got stuck. I almost peed my pants laughing. This is also what my sisters kitchen looks like after she has been gone for a few days…. No one tell her!
And that was the end of my stay. Sonia came and drove me to the airport-we had to convince Miller he wouldn’t fit in my carry on and that yes, they would notice him.
I feel bad the house was trashed when I left – but at least the kids were alive when their parents got home. That has to count for something right? I think that is pretty good, since three of them were taking turns throwing knives at each other when I left.
Part comedian, part Dad, part athlete. He will boss around your children while they play ball.
Just as angelic as she looks, this girl could easily raise a Village by herself, and all the children would grow up to be President.
Self proclaimed, she would be a webkinz dog. Because, "they're cute, and puppies are too. And they're sweet and they always get along with other puppies."
This mini-Martha Stewart can handle ANY craft you send her way. She isn't all bows and rainbows, she's got karate kid moves!
Not "Pick-Me-Up" like caffeine, she wants you to pick her up! AND NOW!
Anything that can be destroyed WILL be destroyed!
Practically Perfect in Every Way for now! Nicknamed "The Panda" she is rolly polly and lives by the motto, "the little one, is KING!"
The resident Labradoodle, Miller got his name because Mom won and got to name the baby! Need something chewed up? He'll take care of it. Especially if it's expensive..
No more out of town confrences!!!
That is HYSTERICAL! I have to say, I don’t think I would have done a well as your sister did!
Bahahahaa….sometimes, it is just better NOT to know! hehe…but at least they are all alive 🙂
Sounds like you need a vacation…lol
LOL – sounds like too much fun!
LOL. She didn’t say how the microwave caught fire. Is your sister appliance challenged?
Hey true! I forgot to ask in all the commotion!
Oh my! It’s always so much harder to watch other peoples children. I can’t imagine watching 7 and my own baby.
Too funny…now wiping coffee off my monitor since I laughed so hard.
Your sister’s hair looks great
That is hilarious! Reminds me of the tales I would hear from a family friend who lived across the street when I was growing up. She had six kids, all of them boys, except for one:)
Just imagine if she left something out? I wonder what could be un-tellable if this what was “fit for print!” Hysterical! Your sister is awesome to step in – brave and crazy! The kids will never forget that visit! Be sure to let us know how the microwave caught fire… Hmmmm
This had me laughing so hard!! It reminds me of my kids (we only have 5) but it’s the same kind of havoc 24/7 around here! I always think it’s funny when someone with only 1 kid or no kids babysits for a large family, they find out quickly they’re in over their heads, because it’s NOTHING like you would expect! Thank you so much for this, I really needed it after trying to get 5 kids out the door to school, all of them screaming at each other for “touching something that doesn’t belong to you”!! Btw, I bet a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will get that pen off the couch!
That is hillarious!!!
I have only one word for your sister – BRAVE! 🙂
When my husband and I got married 24 years ago we wanted 6 kids; ended up with none. Thank you Jesus, he knew I wouldn’t have survived.
To all you moms (and babysitters) out there, YOU ROCK!
That is really sweet! I am sure you could have done it. I never thought I would have had 7 and would have said no way can I do it. But it is one day at a time and you just roll with it!
That is too funny! And all the while your thinking.. hmm thats just a typical monday for me! lol Love it. Poor sis, poor you! At least we all get a glimpse into a life with 7 kids and a dog 🙂
Love love love! I so needed this today! I have 4, our washer is broke, and the cats have decided that their litter box isn’t their potty….my closet is! After a morning of crying, I read this and feel better, that I’m not the only one in choas! Thanks Tiffany for posting!
It really is Choas! But fun huh?!
Thank you for sharing Tiffany! This is just what I needed to read! I only have 4, but right now a broken dryer, cats deciding that the litter box isn’t good enough for their potty, and everything in choas! This makes me realize I’m not the only one going thru this! I don’t know how you do it on a daily basis!!!
Wooo! I got tired just reading about it!!!
One more thing…..I know hairspray gets ink off of fabric. I’m not sure about leather, but maybe give it a try!
She got it off, because I could not find it!
Glad they are ALIVE!! What happened to poor miller?
We have no idea what happened to him…. poor thing! They can’t anything that he could have stepped on. He is doing good now.
Oh Tiffany, how I love you! I do NOT want 7 children, but I LOVE giving birth and could totally see doing it 2-3 more times. Did I tell ya.. expecting a girl July 4th, at home again! :0) EEK!!!
You totally rock mommyhood! I could use an ounce of your patience!
Sorry but this is funny I don’t care what anyone says. And to be honest none of the kids got hurt. Your sister is a hoot.
Thank you for this pick me up!! I laughed so hard the kids actually asked what was so funny… you know kids never really listen unless they think something funny or stinky might be involved. God bless your sister and you for seeing the joy of children… bhhhaaaaaa