Just a quick shout out about how fantastic my kids are…
Mom Logic, What is that? It is no surprise that there is nothing logical about being a Mom. Everything related to motherhood is illogical. Logic means that there is some reason or sound judgement behind an action. Thus, telling me Motherhood is completely Illogical.
I am actually thinking that motherhood might just be a disease, a highly contagious one at that. I’m going to call it illogical Mom Logic Syndrome or IMLS for short. It can affect any Women in love with a child, whether a biological or adoptive Mom, a favorite Aunt or even a new Grandmother. Symptoms usually include enlarged thighs and rear ends, drooping breasts, bags under the eyes. It has been known to cause completely irrational outbursts of emotion, such as crying during Kodak commercials. Or even forcing your children to watch Susan Boyle sing “I dreamed a dream” on youtube, bawling uncontrollably through each viewing.
Why do Mothers afflicted with IMLS cry? Because we have the ability to take a message out of the most illogical thing and apply it to us. This disease has taken over our ability to separate the non-Ivanovsky children things of this world, and the things that I can turn around and make be about the Ivanovsky children. For example, your little brother’s friends, uncle’s neighbor, had a leopard gecko that had a red scab that turned out to be reptile fungal disease. The rolodex of stored child ailments my kids have had is spinning in my brain. In my head I am thinking, “My Emma had a scab like that three years ago, it is gone now but maybe it could have been….”
We can’t think about things normally anymore once afflicted with IMLS syndrome. We are worried about lice, ring worm, ticks and other appropriate dinner time topics. Did the children get enough to eat for breakfast and how many bowel movements have they had this week?
Along with IMLS syndrome Mothers are usually afflicted with some type of delusional self – image hallucinations. No matter how “hot” our spouse declares us, we torture ourselves with tankini’s and ill fitting capris. We go to tanning salons to try and camouflage the cottage cheese on our thighs by melting it off or confusing being tan with being skinny.
But the most crippling part of IMLS is the inability to accept and realize that the antidote for this disease is with us all the time, usually wiping their little noses on our shoulder. It is our children in everything wonderful that they do all day that rescues us from everything ill-logical in this world and saves us when we have no hope left.
That is my Mom Logic.
NOTE: This is my post for the Mom Logic Mother of All Bloggers Contest. Thank you for the nominations! If I am chosen in the top ten I will be back asking for your votes to win. There are some fabulous Mom bloggers out there and the competition is fierce, the winner receives a new lap top and a lead article on Mother’s Day.
We have lived in our house for over 10 years and every year I announce that I want a garden. Then I don’t do anything about it and no one does it for me, so I have never had one. This is year is different. I made the announcement and got a slight reaction from my husband, I took the little eye blink as a definite, “Honey, I would love to help you put in a garden!”
~This is a picture of my husband tilling the spot for my garden at 10:20pm.
~This is after I had already cut the buried cable line, about 15 min. earlier. Who knew it was there?
~This is only 6 hours before we have to be at the mushroom farm to pick up REALLY cheap compost. They open at 4am and you have to be there at 4:30am to get any, 95 miles from our house…
Now, the pictures that are missing are the ones you really want to see. But unlike me I DIDN”T BRING MY CAMERA, I am still kicking myself!
My sweet husband calls me at 7:30am on his way back from the mushroom farm. “Honey, I think the trailer is way to heavy, I told them only 2 yards and they dumped the entire bucket full (5yards) into the trailer. It’s not my fault he didn’t speak english.”
“OH, MY GOSH, I’ll have to call you back I just blew a tire!”
The next 9 hours went something like this… call and borrow another trailer and industrial jack, drive up to find husband on the side of highway 70 miles north of here, spend 7 hours on a SUNDAY trying to find a new wheel for a 68 chevy, and laughing until our sides hurt at the stupidity of it all.
Thankfully we were accompanied by our good friends the DuBois’ who pawned their kids off and joined us on this adventure.
We had to transfer half the compost, which I forgot to mention smells worse than manure, to the other trailer and we dumped about 2 yards on the side of the highway to lighten it. All of this on the side of a MAJOR highway. So if you are interested in some compost, north of Huntsville, TX on the side of the road there is about 2 yards of good mushroom compost for the taking. But I will warn you, it is HEAVY.
~This is us at 6:30pm that night finally getting home. This is Shawn D. riding the trailer into the backyard!
~This is our slave labor unloading one of the trailers. They enjoyed the smell as much as we did!
~ This is right after the DuBois’ Grandma drove off our driveway and into the ditch in front of our house. That was another little 45min. adventure trying to get the car out… It was quite the day.
~ This is the picture I am going to put on craigslist advertising my brother in laws babysitting service…
So the garden is coming along. I will post a picture of the completed space another day, it is raining today, so you can see how beautiful it turned out! Thanks to all the family and friends who helped us, I would have left Paul in the middle of nowhere smelling like rotting mushrooms on a Sunday…
These might be a little graphic for some, but I had two different emails asking about Maureen’s birth photography. She did a phenomenal job and they are so beautiful. The hours she put into it was unbelievable. So these are a few of the pictures of our little Rush’s birth.
Breaking all child labor laws and figuring we had our own private work force, we decided to take the kids to Arkansas for Spring Break. While their friends were off to Mexico to sit on a beach or in Colorado skiing, we chose the more economical route with 6 children and took them camping. Who knew our little neighboring state has the World’s 8th largest Diamond Mine?? And I have to tell you-we were pleasantly surprised at how pretty Western Arkansas was! I apologize to you little pretty state with all the green rolling hills and beautiful chicken farms.
This is what it looks like when you go camping with this many people in one SUV, in case you ever thought it might be a good idea. You might want to read my earlier post about traveling with children…
I have nothing to say about this, but I laughed for almost the first half of the trip every time I thought about it. The kids car seats might not be buckled in this well, but darn it, Paul’s Coke was going to make it unscratched. Can you see where he even duct taped it closed? Seriously??
Let me tell you what this is a picture of since you will never guess. This is us doing 78mph down the highway. Can you see the problem with that? Maybe that the speedometer says we are doing all of ZERO. That will make the trip exciting. “Actually officer, I was hoping you could tell ME how fast I was going?” I had the truck inspected the day before and nothing was wrong with it. As soon as we got on the highway it quit working. But hey, if you need, I can email you on how to figure out how fast you are going by timing yourself in-between the mile markers along the side of the road. Who says nothing educational came out of this trip?!
While stopping for lunch (which takes about 90 minutes) the kids were having a great time entertaining themselves. In between the fence, down the sidewalk, trading sodas back and forth.. of course as we were leaving I noticed the sign.
This isn’t going to be the first time on this trip we paid absolutely no attention to posted signs!
Our good, brave friends came with us camping. They have 3 little kiddos. This is our Storie on the right and their little Emma on the left. They are the cutest two kids ever. They pose together every time I pull the camera out!
And here are the big boys. Don’t you remember what it was like trying to be cool while hanging out with your family? These guys pulled it off real well even while chasing the baby around and making cute noises at him!
I DON’T LIKE TO BE COLD. Everyone within earshot knew it. The only thing I ever dread about camping are the long cold nights. Every Mom who has ever camped with small children, especially ones still nursing or taking a bottle you know how it goes:
You get them all new clean warm clothes and thick socks, you put them all in sleeping bags with their blankies. Then you spend the rest of the night shoving them back in their sleeping bags because they wiggle out as they sleep and lay moaning next to you because it is 35 degrees out. Then the baby wakes up (because that is what they do), you try to either nurse them back to sleep, freezing to death as you do it or you try and give them a cold bottle, (that you tried to keep warm by putting it in the sleeping bag with you) they are accustomed to it being the perfect temperature, thanks to the microwave that you forgot to bring and somehow wire to work in a tent. Once the baby is back to sleep and you try to warm up your sleeping bag again, another child has to go to the bathroom… Unfortunately, all my kids are just as afraid of the dark and the scary woods as I am, so we run together to the bathroom and back again to the tent. Now repeat this a few times and that is how each night goes.
There is a picture of me further down after a few of these nights. WaaaaHooooo, now to the fun part! Each child was in charge of finding me a 1/2 carat diamond, or, if they worked together they could find a 1 carat diamond. I think I deserve it-it’s only a 1/2 carat for each child. That’s not asking too much? So this is the diamond field at Crater of the Diamonds State Park. But don’t let the name fool you-we dug and dug and dug and dug but alas, we found NOTHING! I was starting to consider buying a field in the middle of nowhere and telling people there were diamonds on it, charging them to get in and dig it all up. Then planting potatoes. There were 11 diamonds found the day we were there. NONE by us. For crying out loud, we had 9 children who dig up my front yard any chance they get and we couldn’t even find one! Maybe what they needed were my nice dinner spoons-those seem to work for digging up everything else.
This is that picture of me after a few long nights. I dare someone to COMPLAIN! The best part about camping in Arkansas?? We let the kids bring their AirSoft guns! We figured no one would mind! The boys quickly made friends with some other kids from Dallas a few campsites away and hooked them up with a few of the extra guns we had brought. Then we sent them off through the campground to the amplitheatre to wage war. They rotated Emma and Owen in when someone got out. I would have liked to know what the other campers thought of our army of pellet pumping midgets.
So, we switched from diamonds to quartz crystals. Funny how we didn’t have a problem finding any of these. Dig Rush, dig!!! Or no warm bottle for you!
Ummm had to throw this one in. This is the view we had of Storie all day. Who are her parents and why do they dress her in too big pants??
Second sign of the trip that we failed to see until too late. This is us…. washing all our crystals in the sluice trough. The last day we drove into Hot Springs and toured the town. It was really pretty, we had planned on taking the kids to some Hot Springs, after all wouldn’t you think there would be some?? But no, Hot Springs is named that after the hot springs that you can’t go in. There are only old time bath houses for adults. Go figure, if anyone need a bath in this group it was the kids not adults. The kids were a bit freaked out when we toured an old bath house at the idea of a stranger giving them a bath. I have to disagree, at this point in the trip it sounded like a good idea to me.
But the best part of Hot Springs was the forced march we drug the kids on to the top of a mountain with the promise of a lookout tower. Only to get to the top and find out it was $7 a person to go up in the tower and more insulting they (the little hobbit of a person behind the counter pushing the $7 trip to the top like a drug) was the promise of a beautiful view of Bill Clintons boyhood home. Really? $91 to see Clinton’s boyhood home. How about we don’t. But all in all, the view that we did have was beautiful and the kids had a blast, it was a great time and only 5 kids had ticks. Which couldn’t have been that bad because they started a “I Had a Tick” club complete with secret handshake!
I know I promised photos of my dog after his haircut. I just have not been able to do it. It is too humiliating… He looks like an idiot. And I know he looks stupid because everyone who sees him says the same thing, kind like when you get a bad haircut, “well, at least he won’t be hot in the heat this summer.” Or ” It’ll grow.” My poor proud dog reduced to looking like a poodle. Now the best part is the groomer telling us to not laugh at him and to tell him how beautiful he looks.
Drug Store Deals
Meet My Litter
Baseball Star DudePart comedian, part Dad, part athlete. He will boss around your children while they play ball.
Baby Sitter Doll!Just as angelic as she looks, this girl could easily raise a Village by herself, and all the children would grow up to be President.
Webkinz Pup!Self proclaimed, she would be a webkinz dog. Because, "they're cute, and puppies are too. And they're sweet and they always get along with other puppies."
PrincessThis mini-Martha Stewart can handle ANY craft you send her way. She isn't all bows and rainbows, she's got karate kid moves!
Pick-Me-UpNot "Pick-Me-Up" like caffeine, she wants you to pick her up! AND NOW!
Supercute DestroyerAnything that can be destroyed WILL be destroyed!
Mary PoppinsPractically Perfect in Every Way for now! Nicknamed "The Panda" she is rolly polly and lives by the motto, "the little one, is KING!"
Miller DogThe resident Labradoodle, Miller got his name because Mom won and got to name the baby! Need something chewed up? He'll take care of it. Especially if it's expensive..