This is an actual conversation that I had with my husband as we were sitting on the couch blogging, and waiting for a rear taillight to be delivered to my Mother In Laws house. The taillight story will have to come later, as we still don’t have one, and I would rather not talk about it right now.
“You don’t smell like you.” My husband stated.
“Um, what do I smell like?” I ask, not looking up but still on the computer.
“I don’t know, just not like you. Maybe like different laundry detergent?” He says.
“No same detergent, I didn’t put on any perfume today, thanks for noticing” I say, now wondering if I smell bad, so I start sniffing my shirt. “Oh, I smell like your deodorant.” Nonchalantly explaining that I couldn’t find mine this morning, so I used his.
“You used my deodorant? Who does that? Where is yours? You really used my deodorant?!” He asks.
“Yes, I couldn’t find mine, and I was guessing you wanted me to use something!” We are still out of town and keeping everything together is getting more and more difficult.
“You really used my deodorant? That is gross, now what am I supposed to use? I can’t believe you would do that” He says rather irritated.
“Are you being serious? It’s not that big of a deal. If anything you should be glad that I think you smell that good that I would WANT to smell like you.” I start defending myself because now I am wondering if it really was that gross. “And besides, it is just like I ran the deodorant on my leg because that is just like under my arm. It is gross for me because you have all hairy armpits and everything. So I am the one who should be grossed out, not you.”
“But you are the one that just used it without even asking. I would have have said no, by the way, and I should have known this before we got married, that you would just use anyones deodorant, without any regard for anyone else.”
“No, I was regarding you, that is why I used deodorant.” I state.
“Fine, just don’t do it again.” He says.
I sat for a minute completely mystified that he had this big of a problem with it. I mean I didn’t want to use his, I like mine, but unpacking and packing I couldn’t find it and we didn’t have time to go to the store. I was also a little embarrassed and had my feelings hurt. Then I knew what I had to do…
“You realize I have also been using your toothbrush also, right?” I tease.
“Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME??!!!!!” Paul closes the computer and starts walking to the bathroom like he plans on checking his toothbrush for my germs or something. “Who are you? That is gross, what is wrong with you?” His voice echoing from the bathroom.
“I use your razor as well… thats why you go through refills so often. Just FYI!” I yell to him.
“You think you know someone, and it’s all LIES, just LIES I tell you!” Paul cries from the bathroom. “I am taking my toiletry bag and you are not allowed to touch it!”
“So you would make out with me right now, but I can’t use your toothbrush? It is the same thing.” I argue.
“It is completely different, and I don’t want to talk about it, I didn’t know you were that kind of person.” He takes his dang toiletry bag from the bathroom and I think he actually hid it from me!
Now I am left to sit and ponder this entire conversation and what it could possibly mean. Paul is the most laid back guy about things, I am taken aback by his reaction. Somewhere in the past day my personal toiletries have been lost, if that happened to Paul I would TOTALLY volunteer MY flowery, baby powder smelling deodorant to him! I would even give him my toothbrush and my pink lotion filled razor. My kids or my siblings I would TOTALLY drive to the store and get them new items, but not Paul, I would give him mine to use.
I think this means I am just more giving than he is ๐ And while we are at it, this entire conversation started while we were sitting on the couch waiting for a part to MY truck that he wrecked to get here, so we can get on the road to get home to the 20 flowery, baby powder smelling deodorant I have at home! I think this proves the entire thing is his fault I had to use his stuff ๐
What do you think? Is it ok to use a spouses toiletries?
lcmommy says
I don’t think it’s gross at all. In fact, my husband and I usually share a deodorant unless it’s a “girly” smell. My husband doesn’t mind, nor do I for that matter.
Col Sanders says
That is sooo gross, who raised you for heavens sake!
Tiffany says
LOL! Hi, Dad!
Bre says
While I’m not married, I can certainly sympathized with Paul just wanting “some” things to himself. For me, I hate when my family tries to eat and drink after each other — it’s just that gross. I’m guessing Paul is the type to give you the shirt off of his back, just not his toothbrush. On the other hand, you two are married and y’all share things between each other that you’ll never share with anyone else. I mean a toothbrush is a bit much, but not deodorant, especially since you are married. To put things in perspective, maybe you should go without deodorant for a day or week, just to see how he reacts.
Ana says
Tiffany, that it’s hilarious, I can’t believe he won’t share deodorant, toothbrush I can understand but deorodant, my husband likes mine so much we share it. I don’t see the what’s the big deal??
Guys and their issues ๐
Nicole says
I agree, I don’t see what the big deal is! It isn’t like you ran a marathon and then, after getting all sweaty, used his deodorant! lol
Etienne says
OMG! I had a very good belly laugh reading this post! Someone who shares my guilt! Ugh! Yes I do use his toiletries! And I totally rely on his nice thick gym socks (peds) for when I need to get really sweaty! tee,hee My DH is a OCD neat freak and seems never to forget or lose anything EVER? On my behalf I chalk it up to me being the one who does ALL the grunge work in our lives (a.k.a. I am a frazzled multi tasking mom who takes care of “details”) – so I justify wearing his socks and sometimes using his deodorant even if it’s a tad PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE of me! tee,hee BTW – I draw the grossness line & don’t use his toothbrush or nose hair trimmer!
J.D says
I think its ok, actually before we started to stockpile, we were running out and would use each others. I sometimes like smelling like my husband especially when he isn’t around. ๐
LaToya says
I think it’s gross. I do. But I don’t think it’s anymore gross than NOT wearing deodorant and smelling like musty armpit. The toothbrush I would draw the line at – hilarious!
Rebekah says
Confession: My husband and I always share deodorant. His Degree just works better (and smells better) than anything I’ve ever used and it just makes sense to use one instead of us both having our own. Never even crossed either of our minds to be grossed out by it. I have accidentally used his toothbrush before, only because he unwrapped a new one and it was PINK, so I naturally thought it was mine! I was a little grossed out after I realized it, but then calmed myself down with the same arguement you used: we make out…it’s kinda the same thing, plus toothpaste!! I’ve also used his razor when I’ve ran out. None of those things gross either of us out, however, after 13 years together, we do NOT use the bathroom with the door open. That’s a no-brainer for us, but some people seem to find that weird, with my sister even telling me that we aren’t “intimate” enough. LOL!
Jen says
This was the second best thing I read this morning, but it was definitely the funniest.
We’ve lost toiletries on the road, it happens, and shared toothbrush/deodorant/razors. It’s not that big of a deal to us. I mean you live together, kiss and stuff (trying to keep it PG), not really a big deal to share a few toiletries in a pinch.
To some people it is though. Various family members would be like your husband, while the rest would be like us, shrug and go on with it.
My step-son flipped his lid when he found out his dad used his toothbrush by mistake, I was all, here take one of the dozen others that are in the package. ๐
Samantha says
Oh that’s too funny!! Todd and I share tooth brushes if we have to… I don’t like his deoderant or I would us it too I think you should use Pauls all the time when you get home now just to mess with him ๐ Take pictures of you using them on Miller and Andie and send them to him just to get a rise out of him ๐
Tiffany says
Wow, you are a sick woman, I REALLY like it!
Jen says
As you said, it was more gross for you with his hairy smelly armpits! :o) My husband wouldn’t care… he actually used my Secret once because we were at Disney and he forgot to pack his! Whatever works! Same as a toothbrush, not ideal to share but if it is all you have! That was a good one with telling him you used that- I would though it in every once in awhile so he really starts questioning it! :o)
Jessica says
I am not open to sharing toothbrushes but my guy and I share our deodorant and razors all the time! ๐
I do think that men’s deodorant works WAAAAY better than women’s though! ๐
Brittany says
That is so funny! Was he actually serious? Its hard to read his comments without thinking he’s got to be kidding. This morning I was just wondering if its okay to pilfer one of my husband’s UNOPENED razors for myself… somehow his stockpile grew bigger than mine… I guess it must be okay!
Tiffany says
Thats what was so weird. He is Never serious! But he was really bugged at me.
Diane says
If anyone should be grossed out, it should be you! Tell Paul to quit being fussy! Hebrews 13:16…Share with others! ๐
Kelly says
I have used my husband’s deordant in the past and I think it is fine!!! I agree with you– you should be the one grossed out because men do have hairy armpits—and you just wanted to make sure you did not stink.
kristin says
How can you french kiss a person but have an issue using eachother’s toothbrush in a pinch?? That makes ABSOLUTELY no sense at all you!!
Lindsey says
Dan and I had this argument early on in our marriage. He thought sharing deodorant was gross and I thought sharing toothbrushes was nasty. He’s given up getting upset about me using his deodorant now because he’s all about keeping “his” toothpaste away from the kids. Can you believe he hates getting a tube of gloppy toothpaste on his hand worse than sharing deo or a toothbrush? Seriously, the man gags when the kids don’t rinse off the toothpaste tube.
margaret says
speaking as someone who is about the least germophobic on the planet! (even with my first kid), I still am not so sure about that. I probably would survive (especially the deodorant–razors no big deal at all, not as much the toothbrush), but I still would have gotten a bit irritated, I think…at least that I was not asked because I do find it a tad gross–although, when I think about it, I am not even sure why. In a pinch, I agree, would probably have let him, but also would have volunteered to help him find his first.
So, while it makes no sense upon reflection, I can understand Paul’s feelings.
Susan says
I would rather smell than use my husbands personal items. Thank goodness I have never been in that situation to debate it. Unless it has never been used and I get to use it first. To each his or her own though.
Amy says
My husband and I have had this conversation and he’s pretty much in Paul’s camp. I grew up with a younger sister and brother and nothing was off-limits to those two. I told him that I’d used his toothbrush before and you could see him full-body cringe!!! But he’s not here voting and I am so one vote for Tiffany. ๐
kelly says
I would think after having 7 kids nothing would gross him out, but men can be funny sometimes. It’s not like you cleaned the toilet with his toothbrush.
Stacey says
I can use his but he’s not allowed to use mine, of course. ๐
Kim says
Deoderant is one thing–even a razor, but a toothbrush is another thing. That thing scrubs bacteria, plaque, and food particles from your teeth—YUK!
lizzette says
I dont think its bad but my husband is the same once at home i couldnt find mines so i put on his axe deodorant he smelled it and said why did u put my deodorant on and “i said because i cant find mines he said ill go buy you one but dont do it again because its for guys .I couldnt believe he had got mad over that either it was weird,i now know to have like 2 or 3 open of mine.:)
maria says
I don’t want to sound mean, but I would not want him to touch my stuff and I wouldn’t touch his either! In an extreme circumstance when you cant find something and have no other way, then yes, but other than that, NO. I wear his axe sometimes, but that does not touch my body. I mean, he can touch my body, but not his razor, or toothbrush or anything like that. That’s just good hygiene. I’m pretty much a germaphobe though. I keep a bottle of sanitizer right next to the bed and make sure my husband uses it a LOT. Sorry, don’t mean to attack you, that’s just my opinion.
Kirsty says
In dire circumstances I’ve used my husband’s deodorant…and I regularly use his razor, even though he’s asked me not to. I believe he’s borrowed my toothbrush on occasion.
Joanne says
HAHAHAAAA!! Maybe you should have told him, “FINE, then I will never use your toothbrush again…I guess you don’t want to know that I accidentally dropped it in the toilet after I finished using it last time!” That ought to get his attention! ๐
VB says
I think if you give it back in the same condition then all is good. For example during the summer my hubby shaves his armpits. Keep in mind that thanks to me he has a very nice stockpile of gillette razors. When i went to grab for my razor in the shower i caught a wiff of a musty smell. Gross!!! So not cool! But if it hadn’t smelled i would have been fine with it.
Britney says
Hahaha…well I guess a confession is in order!!! I debated on whether to post or not! Buttt… here goes my husband and I share a toothbrush on a regular basis. Sorry everyone but we dont care. We started life very poor and just never thought not to share it. He nags that I dull his razors but who cares. There is more! We have often shared deodrants from running out. I wear his boxers, we share socks. Sitting here reading, I started to debate are we a bunch of sickos. But I will end this with we are happily married and plan to always be!!! To each their own I guess!!!
Tiffany says
Cheers Britney!! We need to hang out!
Samantha says
Love this post!! So cute ๐ Share your life, love & tooth brush… lol
Elizabeth says
I use my husband’s deodrant if I’m out and I think that he has used mine too. I will use his electric razor on occasions, too. We have been married 15 yrs and the only thing of his that I won’t use is his toothbrush. Yes, I kiss him but I was taught that you’re not suppose to share toothbrushes. I even cringe when my 2 yr old uses my mom’s toothbrush.
Each couple/person is different. If we all looked and lived alike, it would be boring.