I wanted to share a few things that might give someone an idea what to avoid saying to a grieving parent.
First, the picture you see above is hard for me to share. It is most of the people I love in this world carrying my precious daughter Emma to her place in the cemetery. My husband Paul, my son Tucker, my brothers Ben and Tyler and my brother-in-law Jeff. This is a terrible and beautiful picture all at the same time. It hurts my heart so badly you just have no idea.
Death is a very confusing time. It is a time you expect the people you love and care about to rally around you for support. After our daughter passed away we found ourselves wondering where some of our closest friends and family were. Did they not know about Emma? Did we need to tell them? Why were they avoiding us? Do they not care? It was very confusing. Time and time again, we heard, “I didn’t know what to say” and “I didn’t want to say the wrong thing” as an excuse to not make contact with us.
My Husband Paul and my son Rush.
When your heart has been shattered into a million tiny pieces and you are completely broken something else happens. Have you heard the expression that “your heart is softened?” Well, it is. What that means is that you feel more empathy then you ever have before. You have more love for those around you then you ever have before. It gives you the ability to hear things that are completely ignorant and not take offense. Your heart is not broken but truly softened.
We have an overwhelming feeling of compassion for everyone right now. This might be a gift you are given when you are in so much pain, but it is a welcome gift. There is really almost nothing you can say that we will take offense by. We are mostly happy you approached us and grateful to talk to someone. We feel grace and love for you and try to help you when you don’t know what to say. We know that whatever it is you are trying to say is coming from a place of love or concern.
You are not going to remind us that our daughter died and make us cry or be sad. We spend 24 hours a day thinking about how much we miss her. If we cry, it is probably because we are so grateful you asked about her or gave us the chance to tell you how amazing Emma was.
My daughter Paige holding me, my daughter Avery, Paul and Rush.
Because we have heard pretty much everything possible in person and online in the last 2 months, I thought I would give you an idea of how hard it is to say the wrong thing. To make it very simple I broke it down into 3 things to avoid saying.
NOTHING – Saying nothing might possible be the worst thing. We don’t know if you don’t know and we wonder if we need to tell you? Do you not care? We are not sure. Please don’t make us wonder, we have enough going on in our heads, from what you can see below you probably were going to say the right thing, even a hug is good. Just do not, NOT say anything!
TELLING US YOU SPEAK TO EMMA OR THE LIKE…
So yeah… this doesn’t go over very well for a number of reasons. First, it seems very predatory and in fact is very predatory to say things like this to someone who has just lost a loved one. Second, this is upsetting to other family members. Why are you claiming to hear things from Emma and they are not? Third, this is against what I personally believe. You are not a Prophet no matter what you think in my eyes, and it really sucks that you would feel that you can say these things to me. I have sadly got quite a few of these. Oh, and you are an idiot. Blue? Really? I only mentioned 100 times in public that was her favorite color.
MOVE ON – Move on? Really? I was sent this “kind” message about 3-4 weeks after my daughter died. I need to move on huh? I sure hope this lady doesn’t have children, how sad they would be to think that she could move on after losing them. You never move on when you lose a child. You learn to live with the pain, it doesn’t go away. A friend of mine said it best after reading this message, “Those that say such things have never been through it. You never move on. That raw, gaping, gut wrenching hole that makes you feel half of you is missing becomes, over time, something you adapt to wearing, and something people may or may not recognize in years down the road. It is an ever present grief. People trying to ‘fix’ you are showing how broke they are. Emma’s rich, full, and very brief life cannot be discounted so flippantly. Let their words be a reflection on who they are, and not what you should be or what Emma was, and the lives she touched that hurt so deeply in her absence.”
It is really that simple. There is not a lot you can say that will offend us. You have no excuse to not say anything.
My daughter Andie, nephew Tristan in the pink, daughter Avery, and Rush.
There are a few things I am going to add just for you to think about before saying or typing it out. Others who have lost a child might feel differently about these lines, but for me I understand why people are saying them, although I wish they would not try and relate or “fix” me. These are not things I would say you should NOT say, I just want to give you an idea of what we are thinking as we get farther down this road.
“I UNDERSTAND” – Unless you have lost a child in the exact same way as us, you don’t understand how we feel. Just like I can’t possibly understand how you feel in your situation. We appreciate you wanting to relate with us, but you don’t need to. Just saying you are sorry, or a offering a hug is all we need.
“I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL” – “I know how you feel… I just lost my Grandma, my nephew is in the ICU, I miscarried, lost my cousin, or even dog.” Yes, someone actually told us they know how we feel, they just had to “put their dog down.” Again, we thank you for wanting to try and comfort us, and we do really appreciate it. But we don’t need you to relate. I have personally lost my beloved Grandmother, miscarried two times (one late at 19 weeks), and lost our dog this year. I can tell you that none of these sad and terrible events even came CLOSE to loosing my 15 year old daughter. Not even in the same realm of hurt, sadness and despair. I can tell you that I *thought* I knew was grief was when I miscarried, and I sure felt it, not saying I didn’t, but it is much different when it is your 15 year old. Please, again, we love you, but we don’t need you to relate with us, just comfort us.
“HAVE YOU CONSIDERED GREIF COUNSELING” – Or some version of suggesting grief counseling. Thank you. This is what I am thinking you really want to say… “I can’t stand to see someone so sad. Please get help so I can stop seeing or hearing how sad you are. It makes me uncomfortable” When you post a tirade about your Mother in Law do I suggest anger management counseling? Or when you post about how much your kids are bugging you, would it be appropriate to suggest family counseling or maybe you need medication? Probably overstepping a little by doing that. I am not sure why then, when you lose a child it is ok to constantly have people suggest counseling. Even the experts agree that you should wait and go after it has been 6 months to even 2 years after the loss. I know that it is coming from a loving place, and that people are worried about you, and that yes, at some point you may need grief counseling, but a few days/weeks after my daughter passed I don’t need to be told to go to counseling repeatedly. My AMAZING, AWESOME, SWEET, KIND, WONDERFUL daughter just FU*&ING DIED, yes I am probably going to still be sad!! Sorry, it makes you uncomfortable, just scroll past. Thank you.
Paige, Me, Avery and Paul
I hope that you can see what I am trying to tell you. There is basically NOTHING you can say that is the wrong thing to say. It has to be so far out of line that you are almost trying to be offensive, for it to be inappropriate. Saying nothing at all, might just be the worst.
Point is, say something. Less is more. A simple “I am so sorry” is perfect.
People who have lost a loved one need you. They need your support. They WANT to cry and talk about who they lost. They cry all day anyway, who cares if you make them cry again, they are probably just glad you said something and are touched that you did.
Me and Emma
You can read more about Emma by clicking the links below.
Part comedian, part Dad, part athlete. He will boss around your children while they play ball.
Just as angelic as she looks, this girl could easily raise a Village by herself, and all the children would grow up to be President.
Self proclaimed, she would be a webkinz dog. Because, "they're cute, and puppies are too. And they're sweet and they always get along with other puppies."
This mini-Martha Stewart can handle ANY craft you send her way. She isn't all bows and rainbows, she's got karate kid moves!
Not "Pick-Me-Up" like caffeine, she wants you to pick her up! AND NOW!
Anything that can be destroyed WILL be destroyed!
Practically Perfect in Every Way for now! Nicknamed "The Panda" she is rolly polly and lives by the motto, "the little one, is KING!"
The resident Labradoodle, Miller got his name because Mom won and got to name the baby! Need something chewed up? He'll take care of it. Especially if it's expensive..
I am so sorry.
I’m so sorry… God bless your family always…
Tiffany, I am really sorry for your loss.
Wishing I could give you a big hug! My heart aches for your family.
Very beautifully, honestly and to the point. Thank you!
so sorry prayn for all of you
thank you for sharing. I’m one of the people who would say nothing because I didn’t want to make the situation worse. Now I know I can say I’m sorry and know it’s okay.
If it helps you, keep journaling and sharing your life during your time of grief.
I can’t agree more. I would never have mentioned to someone about a loved one passing. BUT, Now I definately will. Thanks for all the real life posts you blog about. Tiffany and Paul, I am so sorry and I also appreciate all the hard work you put into each post so we can save more than a nickel. Thanks Again, and KEEP these POSTS coming.
Yay! Thank you so much for taking the time to read what I wrote. That is exactly what I was hoping people would take away. Ask about them, people will tell you if they can’t talk, but all I have talked to say they want people to ask so badly.
Thank you for sharing. Me too. I felt the same way. I have been a long time reader of yours and support you through coupons. I have a hard time talking with you because my children are close in age with your children and you don’t know my children like I know about yours because of your sharing your blog. If anything where to happen to my children I would have a hard time accepting it. My oldest is 21 and next I have an 18, 16, and youngest is 15. I enjoy you sharing your family with me including Emma. I still talk about my beloved grandmother and the things she said, liked, and enjoyed in her life that I remembered. I am truly sorry for your loss of Emma. She will forever be ‘money bags’ to me.?
Thank you so much. Thank you for remembering the Money Bags story. I miss this girl so much. It is ok, we are so very happy to hear about your kids. It does hurt to think about, but we hurt anyway. We want people to not be scared to talk to us.
Thank you again for sharing your journey during this difficult time. May you find comfort in each other. I am so sorry for your loss.
I am truly sorry and I have experienced this with our only child, daughter also, Stephanie is her name.
God bless you with all the strength and faith and grace you need.
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry. I have seen your posts on fb and my heart breaks for your family. I lost my son almost 14 years ago to suicide.. 14 years but it still feels like yesterday., You NEVER get over it you learn to LIVE with it. A few weeks ago during suicide prevention week someone (who I am not crazy about) left a message on my sister’s fb saying she had a message from me from my son. YES I took it as predatory. I don’t believe her! She was just trying to win a friendship. I did not accept her friend request.
I am so sorry for your loss. It has only been 2 months for me and it seem like yesterday.
Everyone grieves differently. People never know what to say when someone dies, so they say whatever makes them feel better. Do what makes you feel better and know that you have love and support.
I am sorry and I pray for your family.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss, your daughter is beautiful….❤️
Well said. You write in words what I’ve never been able to put to paper. All I would do was cry instead of write. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve expressed this to people in the wake of losing our daughter. Just say something, anything! Still praying for you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Tiffany…I can’t even begin to imagine what you all are going through. Reading your posts breaks my heart, but I have to believe that they are helping many people out there who may be grieving the loss of a child. As for me, your posts make me hug my baby a little tighter each night. I am so sorry for your loss and may God bless your sweet family!!!
I’m sorry. I think I mentioned the counciling and”fixing” in a robs about way. I apologize. I am so sorry to have caused you more hurt.
Totally cool. Not worried about it. We know what people mean and that they are only trying to help.
I’m so sorry Emma isnt here, hugs to you and your family. I cant even imagine the pain daily you feel that never goes away.
I have to admit I didn’t say anything because I had no idea what to say. I can’t begin to imagine what you and your family are going through. Your sweet family has been in our thoughts and prayers.
Thank you, I wish I could word things better. It is ok to not know what to say.
Thank you so much for this. I am off to write a note.
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry.
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/because-i-live-ye-shall-live-also?lang=eng
One of my favorite things to listen to after we lost our daughter.
Thank you
Thank you for sharing this. Everything in it is exactly right! Especially the last paragraph. I am so very sorry about Emma. Thank you for sharing her with us.
I am sorry.
Again prayers to you and your family. This was very heartfelt and honest, people need to hear things like this more often
You are an amazing woman and mother! Your words are heartfelt and quite true! Sending you continued prayers and love!
My heart goes out to you and your family. I am sorry for your loss and deep suffering.
Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
I’m so sorry ? you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers ?
Sending you and ur beautiful family a big hug.
I’m sorry
I am truly sorry.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’ve been following your site for some time, my heart goes out to you and your family. You are surrounded by lots of love and support.
In the past, I’d always felt like saying “I’m sorry” just wasn’t enough, it was just the only thing that I could express into words, at the same time wishing I could say more, wanting to verbalize the most perfect uplifting message ever, but still knowing that perfect message didn’t really exist. Thank you for being so open and honest in this painful time, you are truly helping others with your message.
Sending many hugs your way!
Very well said. Thank you so much for sharing this. Please consider me sitting beside you, holding your hand, and thinking of Emma with you.
Thank you
What a good post today. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us, it helps us to know how to pray for your family.
I am so sorry that this accident happened to your lovely daughter.
Praying for your family daily.
((((((Hugs from Idaho??))))))
very sorry for your loss
Prayers for you and your family <3
Very well written. No one can tell you they understand what you are going through because we don’t. So with that being said I as always will offer prayers and long distant hugs and pray for Comfort in each other. I am so sorry for your loss of Beautiful Emma.
I am so sorry. I continue to pray for your family and love hearing about your precious Emma! Such a wonderful picture of the two of you smiling!
I have your blog. I lost my daughter 7 years ago and you 100% correct the pain never goes away. My husband and I lost serveral friends as they didnt like the people we are today. When you lose a child you will never be the person you once were. Im so sorry for your loss.
I love your blog. I lost my daughter 7 years ago and you 100% correct the pain never goes away. My husband and I lost serveral friends as they didnt like the people we are today. When you lose a child you will never be the person you once were. Im so sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing. I am starting to realize you are right. I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my daughter over 30 years ago. You could not be more correct. There is one other thing that should not be said “I’m not coming around so much any more, I’m afraid you will become dependent on me” It’s the same as I can not watch this any more. But that’s the one statement I still vividly remember and the one that hurt me the most.
Oh no, I am so sorry you had to hear that. I am so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss!
I only met you and your husband once when I just started couponing at a seminar. I loved how you both talked about your family. You truly reflect love and light. I have been reading your post and so in effort to take your advise. I truly am sorry for your loss. Lots of love and prayers.
Thank you
Can’t imagine, nor do I ever want to imagine how you feel!!!! But I keep reading your posts and keep praying for you and your family!!!! I hope your posts bring you some relief!!!
Tiffany, these pictures are so heart breaking. This is a really important post and I hope many people take it to heart, there are so many of us who do not know what to do or say.
So sorry for the loss of your Emma, she was a truly bright star!
I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙁 I had someone tell me just months after my son past away at 5yrs old that I need to have another one. They just don’t think. One thing that has helped me deal with his death is talk about him. He is and still will be my oldest son. Just like she is and will always be your daughter. Again I’m so sorry.
Thank you
Good Lord, I’m so sorry that people just don’t think before they hit that post button!!
I love reading about Emma! And I love that picture of you and her , it’s so sweet!!You, Paul and your beautiful children are in my prayers every day and I thank you again for sharing.
I love your honest & raw posts. I AM sorry for your tremendous loss. Praying for your family…peace, comfort & love from my family to yours. ♥️
I get your emails and Paul’s emails everyday. I read them both everyday and I have for 3 or 4 years now. I am sorry for you and your family. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
Thank you
So sorry for your loss. You are very inspiring
Thank you so much for sharing. As we get older, many people experience friends/family members going through the loss of a child. I have a question regarding general conversation with them, if you don’t mind. I find myself trying to talk about things other than my children, especially the ones that are around the same age as mine. What are your thoughts and suggestions on that?
I get that. I don’t mind personally. It is hard to hear, but you still need to live and I am interested in what your child is doing knowing mine would most likely be doing the same thing.
I personally like to tell people that it sucks because it does in fact suck… a whole freaking lot. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
It does suck.
Wow . Im so sorry . I think some people dont even realize what they r saying to u . Im always afraid im going to say the wrong thing not meaning to . I hope I haven’t 🙁 .
Never. This was meant to say, you really can’t say the wrong thing.
Very sorry for your families loss.Thank you for sharing your beautiful Emma with us.
I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my daughter, in 2007. People will often say ” Their in a better place” , thinking that will help you??? When at that ” Raw”, moment of grieving; you ONLY want your, loving child back?! I’m sorry and a hug is the best.
Right?! Or “God needed her” No, I needed her, this world needed her… But I know they just want to help. So it is ok.
As always, I’m still thinking of you and your family! Cyber HUGS to you!!
Thank you so much for posting this! First let me say, I am so sorry for your loss. It’s not natural. We should never bury a child, ever. My husband and I went through the same thing when our son died. Although he was only a baby. It felt as if others didn’t care or thought somehow they could “catch it”. I always tell my daughter’s, never judge anyone else unless you’ve walked in their shoes, and even then that is impossible since God only designs your shoes to fit your feet only. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I do know that the loss of a child forever changes you in a way that cannot be described because there are no words. For myself it’s like something inside died. It cannot be “fixed”. I think about, talk to, talk about, love and miss my son EVERYDAY. Anyway I’m going off on rant. The main things I wanted to express were my gratitude for posting this and my deepest sympathy for your loss and your family’s loss. God bless all of you and “deal” with your grief in whatever way you decide is best for you.
I am so sorry for your loss
Thank you. Because I don’t understand the pain I don’t know what to say or do and end up saying nothing. Thank you for all of your updates. I have been reaching out more because of you. I am very sorry you are going through this nightmare.
I do not know how you all feel and won’t pretend to.I can’t imagine losing one of mine. I am so sorry that you lost her. I think it’s OK to feel however you want. Mad, pissed, lost. Whatever it is it is your grief and however you deal with it is fine. If you want to scream then scream. If you want to cry then cry. If you want to be mad be mad.
I am so very sorry and I’m continuing to pray for all the family. Hugs
I’m sorry for your loss. You write so beautifully about your daughter. She sounds like an amazing girl with a true light that lifted up all who were around her. The world needs more people like Emma. It’s not okay, it’s not fair and I’m so sorry for your pain.
Hi, you don’t know me but I want to say I like your blog (and I get that it’s intended audience if for people you know, or people who know someone who lost a loved one). I just felt i should share… i saw something about your daughter that you posed a while back (maybe a couple weeks ago) and as I sat down after a long day to catch up on a show, I was interrupted by my daughters living room “dance performance” that ironically began at the exact moment my show did. As I opened my mouth to quiet my girls, your post about your daughter entered my mind. Instead I quieted my show. My prayers for you and your family and thank u for your influence.
Thank you so much for sharing. I have done that exact same thing, and I do now look at things differently.
❤
I got here through hip2save. I wanted to read more about your Emma. I am sobbing. I just want to tell you how very, very sorry I am. The way you describe your Emma is how I think of my second child (a daughter) of five. My heart is so heavy for you. Praying.
I am very sorry that this happened. We care and are here for you. Emma was am amazing angel and we are all blessed to have had her in the world.
Thank You, Thank You! You have put in words the truth of this horrible path we were put on. I will not “get over” it. It was someone I carried in my womb for 9 months. Love and nurtured for the rest of his time and it was snatched from me. I am so sorry for you pain and hope my loving thoughts and prayers can be felt by you and your family.
Tiffany,
I love hearing your precious memories of your sweet Emma. I am so sorry for all that your family is going tgrough. And you’re right, unless someone has experienced the exact same loss, during the exact same tragedy, they have no idea what you’re going through or how you feel. Your family is loved by so many people that you’ve never even met, myself included. So I just want to say I’m so sorry for your loss, and you are loved.
You have a beautiful family and Emma was a gorgeous girl. My heart breaks for you mama and I am going to squeeze my 15 and 16 year old daughters even tighter in the morning.
Shame on people for being so ugly to one another. From one mother to another, you are one strong chick. Praying foryou, your family and the people who are misunderstanding your emotions.
I want to tell you that the first thing I did after reading about your horrible tragedy. I hugged all of my children. At that moment I just loved them more…I know that’s not possible, but it hit a nerve with me. I’m going to say things that you probably hear all the time. I have followed your blog since I started couponing about 3 years ago. I especially liked hearing about how your little ones got trapped in the game room, and the one about changing the toilet paper roll. CLASSIC. You have helped to inspire me to be the couponer I am today. I feel like I know you and your family even though we have never met. I am a local and even shop at the same Kroger as you do. I have heard stories from the employees about you when they see me with my binder, They just automatically think we know each other. It’s kinda funny. Just like everyone else that has responded to your latest blog about what not to say. I’m so very sorry that any mother ever has to bury their child. I don’t know what it’s like and it truly scares me to even consider the thought of one of mine going before I do. My children fall into the same ages as your kids. Mine are all boys ages 20, 17, 15 and 6. The 15 yr old was the first I hugged that day. Mortality is a tricky thing to understand regardless if you’ve had a loss. I always look for you when I shop at Kroger, hoping to shake your hand and say hi. Now I look for you so I can give you a hug of support. I know you have that all around you and your amazing family, but I guess in my mind a little more couldn’t hurt. My heart goes out to your entire family. I’m sorry for not saying these things earlier. So if you get a strange hug from a little Mexican at Kroger…it’s just me. 🙂
Thank you so much! I sure hope we run into each other! Hug your kids tight one more time for us.
Tiffany, I love you, only you can post so eloquently about what a grieving parent is going through. Hugs!!
Thank you so much
My heart goes out to you and your family. I have tears in my eyes thinking of you. May God be with you and comfort you. Sending love your way.
I love hearing about your beautiful daughter! With so much negativity in the world it’s a breath of fresh air to hear positive. It’s important to share her attributes and for other to want to strive to be better. She’s an amazing inspiration, I love hearing about how she cared so much for others because even as an adult we can all do better. I want to high five you on #2. Death I think in some ways is a personal spiritual experience and nothing makes me cringe or want to slap a person more than someone telling me they feel my mom or felt her presence when they were doing something. I’m a very spiritual person but when I feel things I think they are for me only. Yes there are little reminders that pop into our day to remind us of those we have lost and I’m grateful for them but when an aqaintence or stranger says they felt my mom, I want to scream and shake them. Great advice!
Tiffany my heart breaks for you and your family. I can say I dont know how you feel. But Im so sorry for your loss. And your familys loss. But as a mother my heart grieves with you. May God bless you to always feel her presence and to fill you r home with love and grace from the Lord above.
Also IO just want to say I appreciate everything you do.
thank-you so much for your words. Some have a hard time saying things and you seem to have found a voice. I personally could never forget a child, that is just cold. I can’t feel your pain, I have never lost a child. But I can send you plenty of prayers, love and hugs.
love to all
aj
Tiffany,
I’m so sorry for your loss. As I read through all of these posts, I’m getting a better understanding of why my parents always give a huge amount of money, a listening ear and a hug at a funeral. Makes no difference if it was a family member, friend, co-worker. My parents always called it “LOVE”.
Thank you for posting this. Thank you for your compassion towards those who say the wrong things with the best of intentions. You are right, sometimes we say things because we want you to be not so sad anymore because it makes us sad. Praying for you and your family.
Huggs for you and your family. Love from NJ
I am so sorry! Having lost a child, I would also like to add this thought. We like to talk about our children. Even after they have passed, they are still our children. I find that this makes most people uncomfortable. Please listen to us and enjoy the moment with us. My son was very smart and funny! Cute story: about 5 years old, around Easter “Jesus died you know. He died and rose from the gravy” Cute, yes? 🙂 I like to remember.
there is one thing for me to say to you, and this is, I am truly sorry for your loss. I don’t know what it’s like and I hope I never do, but I try to love my girls, 11 and 8 more and more each day. Reading your posts puts things into perspective. Thanks for your honesty and for writing and sharing your story. I cry each time I read them. Grieve the only way you know how, take your time. We are here to support you.
I would never tell you I know how you feel. Your loss is one that I cannot fathom. My parents just marked the 20th year since we lost my brother in an accident. I have seen the depth of their pain and I know that even as deep as my loss is, it does not touch theirs. I will only say that you and your beautiful family remain in my prayers.
I am so moved and inspired by this post. Calling out the morons and bottom dwellers so eloquently was fabulous and satisfying. However, it is your raw honesty and openness that provides all of us with deep wisdom. I am so crystal clear that I have no clue what you and your family are going through, and to hear you speak about our discomfort so honestly and lovingly is a remarkably loving and generous gift to us. Again, your raw honesty and openness is such a gift to all of us. Thank you for the beautiful post.
Can I add one more…. He is in a better place!
REALLY? what was so bad about this place, with us, his family, where we laughed, had fun and we’re together. Yes, I am sure Heaven is wonderful! But call me selfish. Here is pretty good too! And that is where I want him to be!
Exactly!
And, thank you for sharing your world with us. Someone told me to read your blog bc it would help me deal with my loss. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish for you time could turn back too. I wish….
It is so brave of you to open up in this way and share with us, complete strangers. Thank you for your advice. I am so sorry for all you are going through. The tips you post are helping others in so many ways. The topics you touch on are considered taboo to many people, so we appreciate you reaching out with raw honesty and advice.
Thank you for this. I had a baby boy die at birth and I always think how each day and hour of knowing them would make it harder. I was shocked at how many people never even said one single thing to me about him. Like his life was too short for it to be of any consequence. I didn’t have 15 years of memories so it should be easy to “get over.” That was in 2012 and there are days I can’t believe how my heart is hurting.
Reading your story was so difficult. And yes, no one can understand another person’s grief. I am so sorry you lost your daughter. I am so sorry that nothing anyone can do or say can help. I am so sorry that so many parents live in a world without their children.